The twenty third chapter of Genesis relates the death of Sarah. She reached the age of 127 (Genesis 23:1). She spent the majority of those years with Abraham. She indeed had a full and good life. As Abraham prepared to leave behind his wife of all those years, he went to purchase a field from the sons of Heth. The land he found which he desired belonged to one Ephron, who was a Hittite. Abraham made a distinction between himself and the sons of Heth. Abraham said, I am a stranger. Earlier in the book of Genesis when he went to rescue Lot, he was called “Abram, the Hebrew” (Genesis 14:13). There was therefore a difference between the Hittites and Abraham’s people called Hebrews.
Ephron offers to give the land with the cave on it in which Abraham wanted to bury Sarah. Abraham would not settle for that kind of deal. He wanted to buy the land with the cave on it. Both men agreed the value of the land was 400 shekels of silver. In front of witnesses, the transaction was made and Abraham bought the land with the cave of the field Machpelah. The chapter closes by showing the deal was sealed, and it properly belonged to Abraham.
Throughout the chapter the issue is, of course, a burying place for Sarah. Moses writes this about what Abraham said. Abraham said he wanted a place to bury my dead out of sight (Genesis 23:4). Realizing how many years they had together, death could not have been easy for such a righteous man. Whether death comes suddenly or over a period of time, there is no way to fully prepare the heart for such an exodus of those we love. Jesus spoke of His coming death and the apostles were greatly concerned. His solution for them and thereby for us was to teach them to not allow their heart to be troubled (John 14:1). They could not have understood then the full implications of His coming death. The great truth is that each of us as we follow the Lord must control our own hearts.
A discussion of the fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5, concerns what the Spirit of God achieves in the heart of the Christian. I have met (and I know you have) people who were loving or caring for others. The passage in Galatians, however, deals with the Christian and the power of God’s Word in their hearts (Galatians 5:22,23). The one listed in verse 23 is temperance. Temperance in that setting means “self control”. The Christian learns through study of and application of the Word of God to control his life for Jesus the Christ. When Jesus taught the apostles to not let their heart be trouble it is in view of the fact that we learn over life’s journey to control how we think and, therefore, how we act (II Corinthians 10:5).
Abraham burying Sarah out of sight was not a derogatory statement. Instead it leaves us with a great truth about facing the reality of losing those we love. What is that truth? We grieve, we mourn and then we go on. Hence the bodily remains of Sarah would be out of the sight of Abraham. The memories of their lives together would not be buried with her. The truth is that Abraham could not remain at the cave for the rest of his life. He had to move on and so do we.
No one can declare how long our mourning should take nor what we do to deal with our grief. The wisdom from God by such a chapter in Genesis is that we mourn, pay honor and then go on. Death is never easy, nor is it necessarily someone going to a better place. We do not sorrow as those who have no hope (I Thessalonians 4:13). Even those who leave with no hope, we still must place them out of sight and go on.